Travel can be transforming

Traveling can be transforming..a brush with enlightenment.

Kevin

Two of the things I've always prided myself on are actually personality flaws and yesterday's travel nightmare proved that point. 

First of all, I'm a cheap. Enough said.

Secondly, I have a tendency to make do, to adapt to problems rather than take action and resolve the issue. The path of least resistance. I've always understood why the Jimmy Stewart character in "It's a Wonderful Life" always rebalances the top of that newel post rather than fix it once and for all.

The following story should explain the reason for this personal disclosure.

The final  destination for yesterday was Koh Tao an island off the West Coast of Thailand. The first leg was a puddle jumper flight to Chumpon, south of Bangkok.

Travel problem 1: Due to an error in our booking, we didn't book any transportation from the airport to the ferry landing. This glitch was discovered by Naga travel (you know who) the night before. No need to go into more detail. Aside from adding to the stress level, the issue resolved itself easily at the small airport and doesn't figure in the story to any degree.

Travel problem 2 :  flying on a small airplane ( bigger than Sky King's but smaller than most commercial flights ) and potential motion sickness.  Again, only twinges occurred at minor turbulence and the worry proved worse than the eventuality.

Travel problem 3: the ferry ride raises the motion sickness issue again.  I imagined a Vineyard type vehicle and procedure  No such luck. The wait at the landing was lovely..lounge chairs on a beach, beautiful island scenery.   However, soon fleets of tour buses began disgorging their contents and a mob scene developed.The boat arrived. It was this catamaran affair at the end of a very long dock. That vehicle proceeded to disgorge an equal number ..more maybe.  We were in awe...how could they possibly have fit that many people and their luggage on that modest boat? After much milling about and sweating,  we  learned how when we boarded, packed like rats in the giant hull while the "preferred" customers " took their seats above on the deck. In place of the Lucy Lui Lifetime movie we got to watch on the monitors  (not hear, just see), they got to breathe. 

After an hour and a half of hull thumping and gasping for air, we disembark to an island mob scene...drivers all yelling at the boatload of potential customers. As willing lambs to a slaughter, we quickly pick the most disreputable looking guy for a ride toTao Thong Villa ( I bet you're now visualizing a high class resort with Europeans in tiny bikinis. We'll sink that ship shortly)

No worry that his vehicle was a truck with two benches for us in back.

Yes , worry. The rutted dirt road to Tao Thong Villa is  a winding, practically writhing,  overgrown , narrow kilometer straight uphill. We hang on for dear life and use our feet to keep the backpacks from bouncing out. The driver adjusts to the difficult terrain by driving as fast as he can and beeping madly  as we approached each hair pin curve. When he finally brakes to an abrupt halt, we climb out, spent with terror and flooded with relief.

Here's where I debunk your fantasy about Tao Thong Villa. Sorry.  I will also soon tie in the personal issue I started with in case you're wondering if and when I'll get to the point.

Travel Problem 4: the Ugly Reality  of Tao Thong Villa.

Imagine that scene in John Ford's "The Grapes of Wrath" when the Joads drive into the Dust Bowl refugee encampment. Change them to three sweaty, bedraggled Americans with backpacks. Then put the encampment on the side of a steep cliff. Keep the bewildered, defeated looks on the Oakies' faces but make them Europeans and put the men in speedos. Litter  the set with mounds of what I now consider traditional Thai litter. 

After about ten blank stares, we finally get someone to point out the proprietor, who looks like a pirate without the requisite sword but with the scowl and the kerchief. He apparently isn't all that glad to see us and reluctantly shows us our bungalows, each up an equally treacherous span of cement stairs. They are on stilts so the first view is each is of the totally disreputable plumbing. 

To make a long story, well, shorter, the North Vietnamese Army put American captives in nicer digs than these two cells. The tired mattresses were covered with one fitted sheet and what look like the stains of multiple illegal medical procedures. The mosquito nets have gaping holes filled with duct tape. Is a window still a window if you can't see out of it for the thick layer of dust? 

Stunned and shocked, we follow him past the lethargic walking dead that are the other guests to finalize the deal. During this interaction we discover that

1.  We have to pay extra for water, toilet paper, blankets, snorkels, rides to town. 

2. the staff and Internet are unavailable from 4 to 6 pm.

3. The electricity cuts out at 9 pm...no lights at all at night.

And he wants me to pay up front.

And I do! I swear to god! I can't believe it.

Kate goes numb and can't speak. Nell worries that she has lost one parent to dementia and can never  forgive the other for his cheapness and unwillingness to act. The debacle is all my fault. I saw the cheap price and forked over the loot thinking we could somehow turn this hell into heaven. 

Then the spirit of Naga  Travel ( iris Gowen would never take this shit) speaks to me from above. She says that wIth some action and energy, i can save what was supposed to be the culmination of our trip. I grab the map of the local area and identify possible resorts within walking distance. I enlist Nell's support in the search and leave a glazed and incoherent Kate sitting on the deck staring into the void as we head off down the footpath along the cliffs.  "Don't forget about me '" she whimpers as we leave.

We walk and evaluate potential replacements. I wheel and deal with the owners. I lie and say  we'll be right back to the owner of one barely acceptable inn.  Then I set my sights on Oz, the "Charm  Churee Ecological Resort. "Come on Nell, it's right ahead. I know it." I know it's what we want. Think of your mother!"

"Dad, it's getting dark. Mom's alone back there." (Knowing that should she come-to while we are gone, her ability to worry without reason might send her off a cliff of a different sort).  

Then we spy it..our very own Emerald City...Xanadu....Nirvana...the solution to the problems 

The paths are manicured, the bungalows stylish and smart, the bathroom has both a male and female urinal, the views beautiful, the staff friendly and warm, complementary everything. They want us and they will even pay for a cab to get our shit from the bowels of hell we left Kate in. 

Travel problem 5: Can I face both personal flaws in one fell swoop? Having taken arms against a sea of troubles, can I pay the 24'000 bahts it will take? I face a angel on one shoulder, the devil on the other.

Nell speaks for reason. "Dad, that's 800 dollars. With the pittance you spent for that Thong  dive, you're still under a thousand for 4 nights."

"Yes, yes,yes, "  I cry like Molly Bloom at the end of "Ulysses, "and they take credit cards!" (which Molly never mentions.)

We seal the deal...the staff provides orange juice and chilled towels to sweeten the moment and to address our sweating and panting. They lend us a flashlight, hire a taxi with four wheel drive and we set off up that damn road to rescue Kate. We find her in the dark on the beach. She has  used  her iPad to descend from the house, numb with agony and loss.

We grab our bags and lead her out as we sneak away into the dark towards our waiting cab. 

We are heading for warm showers, our two porches overlooking the beach, breakfasts on the deck, free snorkeling, friendly faces. 

And I swear to myself never to  be so passive and cheap again.

Well...not so much.